The St Jude storm has clearly left it’s mark on Britain (see above) and I’ve actually just got my power back after a 4-hour powercut. So, I decided to tell you some great things to do in a powercut!
- Eat all of your food. I mean, it’ll just go bad if you leave it in the turned-off fridge, so why not preserve it in your stomach?
- People-watch. If it’s raining outside, watch people do funny waddle-runs along the pavement in the rain.
- Call your power company over and over again. Keep calling your company until a) the power comes back on, b) you’ve racked up a £50 phone bill, c) you’re sick of Dan, the UK Power Network’s resident call-centre robot or d) you’ve called 15 times and they’re still ‘unaware of a power outage in your local area’.
- Cry. Seeing all of those people lose their lawn chairs to the wind can really get you going.
- Sing to your Home Hub/generic internet providing object. My BT Home Hub likes Titanic songs when it needs some motivation.
- Eat some more food.
- Take a shower. May include forgetting that you don’t have hot water and/or forgetting you have an electric shower.
- Sit in a dark corner awaiting the impending apocalypse. Rocking backwards and forwards is optional.
- Stare at the tree that downed your power lines. Goddammit, oak tree. Why are you such a b**ch sometimes.
- Stand at the end of the road watching for vans. Not those types of vans – I mean the vans that have people coming to fix the power lines.
Whilst that concludes my list, seriously – be safe out there, guys.